Late night
Well Ive had a wonderful weekend in Gothenburg with my sweet girl. She called me late on friday night and said she missed me terribly. So I told her I couldnt afford it, but then she said that she would pay for the trip I had to make. So I drove my car to Gothenburg in the middle of the night. Picked her up when she finnished her job at 4am. Lovely to see her again. I miss her every damn scond Im not with her.
Well on saturday we went to Liseberg, its a big amusementpark in Gothenburg. She met up with a friend and we had a blast. Went on some of the rides, and I finally got to go on Balder, well swedens largest rollercoaster. It was fast, fun and well I was a bit scared before we went on it. I havent been to thrilled about those rides before, but now its like, wow its bigger, its faster, I need to go and see if I like it or not. And I did. Im happy I did it with her too, and she addmited she was a bit scared too, since she is a bit affraid of hights. Well the day ended and it was kinda late, so we ended the evening at a piano bar. Was really nice. So she had a glas of Wine and I had a Mojito. So cool to sit in such a nice place and just listen to the guy on the piano, and me and her sitting there looking at eachother. It was just magic. I felt like a little kid in there with her infront of me.
Today she left for Copenhagen to meet up with some friends, cus they were going to celebrate that they all had done their exams and have finnished their training to become pilots, yes she is a pilot. How cool is that :D And Im proud to say it. My girl is a Pilot.
Well enough of that and I hope Im not boring you all to death, but this is the reality I live at the moment. Im, as I told you on thursday, on cloud nine. I cant help it, and I wont be ashamed of being happy either. Its like that in sweden, dont show to much feelings or dont be to happy, its something they call "jante lagen". Well I refuse to live by that and to many people in this country do. "Jante lagen" for you that dont know what it is, its a saying "dont think you are anything". Well I am anything and everything in my own world, and Im not affraid to show it and to talk about it. When someone asks you, how are you? And you say, oh im fine. I say, IM FUCKING HAPPY, SO HAPPY I could climb any wall, swim over any sea or just go base jumping right now. Ha ha ha. More about thoughts tomorrow, now Im to tired.
Light be with you.
//F
p.s Kullerbyttor is good for your health ;) (internal joke) d.s
Well on saturday we went to Liseberg, its a big amusementpark in Gothenburg. She met up with a friend and we had a blast. Went on some of the rides, and I finally got to go on Balder, well swedens largest rollercoaster. It was fast, fun and well I was a bit scared before we went on it. I havent been to thrilled about those rides before, but now its like, wow its bigger, its faster, I need to go and see if I like it or not. And I did. Im happy I did it with her too, and she addmited she was a bit scared too, since she is a bit affraid of hights. Well the day ended and it was kinda late, so we ended the evening at a piano bar. Was really nice. So she had a glas of Wine and I had a Mojito. So cool to sit in such a nice place and just listen to the guy on the piano, and me and her sitting there looking at eachother. It was just magic. I felt like a little kid in there with her infront of me.
Today she left for Copenhagen to meet up with some friends, cus they were going to celebrate that they all had done their exams and have finnished their training to become pilots, yes she is a pilot. How cool is that :D And Im proud to say it. My girl is a Pilot.
Well enough of that and I hope Im not boring you all to death, but this is the reality I live at the moment. Im, as I told you on thursday, on cloud nine. I cant help it, and I wont be ashamed of being happy either. Its like that in sweden, dont show to much feelings or dont be to happy, its something they call "jante lagen". Well I refuse to live by that and to many people in this country do. "Jante lagen" for you that dont know what it is, its a saying "dont think you are anything". Well I am anything and everything in my own world, and Im not affraid to show it and to talk about it. When someone asks you, how are you? And you say, oh im fine. I say, IM FUCKING HAPPY, SO HAPPY I could climb any wall, swim over any sea or just go base jumping right now. Ha ha ha. More about thoughts tomorrow, now Im to tired.
Light be with you.
//F
p.s Kullerbyttor is good for your health ;) (internal joke) d.s
Im just...
... on cloud nine. She calls me when she ends her shift, wakes me up in the morning at 4am. It doesnt matter if she does because its her voice I hear in the other end. A voice that makes me smile each times she speaks to me, or when she laughs or just gives me that smile she has. I love her laugh and the way she looks at me.
Today I went to IKEA bought me some batteries and then I also bought me a late whisk, if thats the name of the tool. Hey and I bought it just for you baby. So when you are here you can have your morning late. So now you will have the coffe just the way you want.
Oh got a add from one of our electronics store here in Jönköping, SIBA, and on thursday next week they will have 20% of on everything for those how have their credit card, so I just might get me an XBOX 360 and GH Metallica. Everyone is playing it and its one of those games that I love, and its so relaxing. It is even better that its Metallica, one of my first farvorite bands, EVER. To play along to Master of Puppets or Ride the lightning, im looking forward to it. Just have to check out how much its gonna cost me. Or ill might buy me a flatscreen. I cant afford it, but you can allways dream you can.
Well time for me to do more laundry and then to relax infront of a good movie, and wait for my wonderful girl to call me.
May the light be with you all.
//F
Lonestar
Baby, yes its cheesy but, this song is you :D
Tattoo
Gemini
Just wanted to show the pic. My friend Emily wanted a tattoo of her sign, Gemini. So I made her a quick drawing of what I thought would look good. So today she got it tattooed on her wrist. How cool is that. So now Ive marked her for life. But well its an honor to be choosen like that. Its not like a henna tattoo. Its for real and there it is.
//F
This is...
... funny so check it out
Things
Im just wondering about the swedish politics. I was reading a blog made by a friend of mine, thats in the swedish parlament. It amazes me that people cant keep comments clean and to be able to keep a nice debate. If you are in a sertain way you get accused and called a lot of names. They just keep it at a low level of maturity. But after have been into politics for 15 years I understand now why I got enough of it. I rather be a regular citizen and speak my mind then to be involved and take all that crap that he has to take.
Well today Im just having an off day. I need to clean but I cant get up and do it. I hate it. Gah well I just have to get my lazy butt up and do it after Ive bloged.
Also to say is that i got my own twitter. Yeah everyone got one so now I got one too. Its a good way to just type little things, but its not that good as a blog. Bloging is a better way to express things to speak your mind. So there i update my life when I feel like it, though its in swedish.
I have to say you just have to read my friends blog DIVA, its in swedish though so for you that dont speak it, sorry. But to read her blog makes me think about loads of things. She has a great mind and she really can explain her thoughts.
Dont forget to visit my other blog links like my old old ooooold friend Mirlinda, also in swedish but a woman with some great thoughts aswell. She has givien me so much light in life and she is like a distant sister to me.
Last but not least we have my very speical friend Emily, she is the one that has helped me a lot through my most difficult times in life the past months. This blog is in english so its for all of you. But though she has to work on her updates. So if you read this. Get bloging you lazy bum ;)
What else, yeah I miss my girl terribly. I just want to be with her. But soon we will be together again. For a long time. It feels so nice and cant express my feelings enough.
My nieces birthday on sunday. Wont make it because I dont have the money to travel up to Luleå. Though Im sending her a little gift. Coming on the mail, and hopefully they will get it tomorrow so they will have it for her birthday.
Now cleaning, laundry and every other "fun" thing that you can do in your flat.
By the way. Today its Bob Marley day.
// F
Well today Im just having an off day. I need to clean but I cant get up and do it. I hate it. Gah well I just have to get my lazy butt up and do it after Ive bloged.
Also to say is that i got my own twitter. Yeah everyone got one so now I got one too. Its a good way to just type little things, but its not that good as a blog. Bloging is a better way to express things to speak your mind. So there i update my life when I feel like it, though its in swedish.
I have to say you just have to read my friends blog DIVA, its in swedish though so for you that dont speak it, sorry. But to read her blog makes me think about loads of things. She has a great mind and she really can explain her thoughts.
Dont forget to visit my other blog links like my old old ooooold friend Mirlinda, also in swedish but a woman with some great thoughts aswell. She has givien me so much light in life and she is like a distant sister to me.
Last but not least we have my very speical friend Emily, she is the one that has helped me a lot through my most difficult times in life the past months. This blog is in english so its for all of you. But though she has to work on her updates. So if you read this. Get bloging you lazy bum ;)
What else, yeah I miss my girl terribly. I just want to be with her. But soon we will be together again. For a long time. It feels so nice and cant express my feelings enough.
My nieces birthday on sunday. Wont make it because I dont have the money to travel up to Luleå. Though Im sending her a little gift. Coming on the mail, and hopefully they will get it tomorrow so they will have it for her birthday.
Now cleaning, laundry and every other "fun" thing that you can do in your flat.
By the way. Today its Bob Marley day.
// F
Active day
Well today Its been an active day. Done lots of stuff that I dont really like. Ive applied to several jobs in Gothenburg, called the unemployments office to tell them what Im doing, and had a good chat with a lady that was from Norraland just like me. Now Ive just finnished to do the dishes and then going to do some laundry.
I miss her so much today Im literary climbing the walls. Dont know what to do and I just want to see her and hug her so tight. Well one week and then we will have a long weekend together. Will make some special plans for those days. Going to be so nice.
Its not that far from our little gaming nerd meet, outside Birmingham either. Its going to be some crazy fun. Its allways fun to see new people, specially when its people you play with online. Yes Im a gaming nerd, so what. Well they are actually all adults not 15 yo kids. So a few pints, some drinks and then I guess a lot of loud talking and just having fun. Looking forward to it a lot.
So what thoughts do I have besides just talking a lot about the regular life. Im thinking about my future. Im thinking about how to make it possible to move to Gothenburg and hoping that I will get a flat over there. Its not easy and I just want it to happen now. Im so fed up to wake up in this town. The fun part is that Ive had a lot of fun with a couple of friends lately. So it has been oki. Still I cant wait for the days in Jönköping to end. Its going to be great to move.
// F
I miss her so much today Im literary climbing the walls. Dont know what to do and I just want to see her and hug her so tight. Well one week and then we will have a long weekend together. Will make some special plans for those days. Going to be so nice.
Its not that far from our little gaming nerd meet, outside Birmingham either. Its going to be some crazy fun. Its allways fun to see new people, specially when its people you play with online. Yes Im a gaming nerd, so what. Well they are actually all adults not 15 yo kids. So a few pints, some drinks and then I guess a lot of loud talking and just having fun. Looking forward to it a lot.
So what thoughts do I have besides just talking a lot about the regular life. Im thinking about my future. Im thinking about how to make it possible to move to Gothenburg and hoping that I will get a flat over there. Its not easy and I just want it to happen now. Im so fed up to wake up in this town. The fun part is that Ive had a lot of fun with a couple of friends lately. So it has been oki. Still I cant wait for the days in Jönköping to end. Its going to be great to move.
// F
Teardrop - Massive Attack
(love)love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Feathers on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me makes me lighter
Feathers on my breath
Teardrop on the fire Feathers on my breath
In the night of matter Black flowers blossom Feathers on my breath Black flowers blossom Feathers on my breath
Teardrop on the fire Feathers on my breath
Water is my eye Most faithful my love Feathers on my breath Teardrop on the fire of a confession Feathers on my breath Most faithful my love Feathers on my breath
Teardrop on the fire Feathers on my breath
Teardrop on the fire Feathers on my breath
In the night of matter Black flowers blossom Feathers on my breath Black flowers blossom Feathers on my breath
Teardrop on the fire Feathers on my breath
Water is my eye Most faithful my love Feathers on my breath Teardrop on the fire of a confession Feathers on my breath Most faithful my love Feathers on my breath
Teardrop on the fire Feathers on my breath
Drama
Yeah Ive read all that Ive written in my blog. Im suuuuuuch a drama queen. Haha. But I just have to tell you all, that its just thoughts and how you can feel sometimes. My blog is a way to let those things out and to get them out of my chest. Its not that Im living the drama every day. I thought I had to clarify that. Im not an EMO person in that way. Sure I think a lot and I dont have any problems expressing my feelings in writing. Its relaxing and its just nice to be able to write it down and get it out of your system.
Today Im just going to take it easy, since my back hurts from yesterday. Though Im thinking about going out for a run, but then my knees are messed up. But I dont care, so a run later on. Two days that Ive just had fun and been with friends.
I miss my girl very much, but to miss someone can be a positive thing. Then you know they mean something and you arent just hanging on for the sake of it. I think of her all day long, and as I said yesterday I talk about her all the time. Yes I know I talk about her a lot here too. But I have to oki, so dont be mad at me;)
Im thinking about my family a lot too and I miss them. My niece has her first birthday coming up on sunday. I love her that little cute thing. She is the most beautiful baby girl Ive seen. Yeah you dont stand a chance against her ;) She has a very strong will and she know what she wants. Me and my brother have talked a bit of when she gets older, and she isnt going to get it easy when she starts to date. I tell you, when that day comes it has to be someone pretty special or they will get the boot out of the house. Hahaha.
Time to do something productive, like reading.
//F
Today Im just going to take it easy, since my back hurts from yesterday. Though Im thinking about going out for a run, but then my knees are messed up. But I dont care, so a run later on. Two days that Ive just had fun and been with friends.
I miss my girl very much, but to miss someone can be a positive thing. Then you know they mean something and you arent just hanging on for the sake of it. I think of her all day long, and as I said yesterday I talk about her all the time. Yes I know I talk about her a lot here too. But I have to oki, so dont be mad at me;)
Im thinking about my family a lot too and I miss them. My niece has her first birthday coming up on sunday. I love her that little cute thing. She is the most beautiful baby girl Ive seen. Yeah you dont stand a chance against her ;) She has a very strong will and she know what she wants. Me and my brother have talked a bit of when she gets older, and she isnt going to get it easy when she starts to date. I tell you, when that day comes it has to be someone pretty special or they will get the boot out of the house. Hahaha.
Time to do something productive, like reading.
//F
Wonderful day
Slept good, so good I had problems to get up today. I can sleep again, finally. Ive been out all day from 11.30 untill now 16.30. Was at the beach with my friend. I talked about my girlfriend a lot and had to ask her if she got fed up with listening to me rambling on and on about her. But she thought it was kind of cute. Then we took our first swim in our big lake, Vättern. It was stupidly cold and I dont understand why I even got into the water, but I did.
So all day has just been about relaxing. It has been so nice, we ended the day with a sallad at one of our cafes here in Jönköping. So now im in my little flat happy that it turned out to be a great day. Though I burned my back today in the sun, stupid me. Its gonna hurt like mad when I go to bed tonight.
I miss my girl a lot and I smile eatch time she texts me or calls me. I just feel its right and that its one of the reasons I can be and feel so happy. She is very special to me and I just wish I could be with her every day.
Then I just had another thought about all the crap the other day. Still cant understand what was so important to contact me on my damn blog. I know who it was, was my ex new boyfriend!!! and my damn ex couldnt even tell him to stop. What do they have to do with my life now, nothing and they have never had anything to do with it. So just some simple advice, get over it that Ive ever existed and please try to live your own lifes and let me live mine.
So with those words Im going to leave things behind me. My new girlfriend knows about the drama on my blog so I dont have anything to hide, she knows what has happened.
May the light follow you all.
//F
So all day has just been about relaxing. It has been so nice, we ended the day with a sallad at one of our cafes here in Jönköping. So now im in my little flat happy that it turned out to be a great day. Though I burned my back today in the sun, stupid me. Its gonna hurt like mad when I go to bed tonight.
I miss my girl a lot and I smile eatch time she texts me or calls me. I just feel its right and that its one of the reasons I can be and feel so happy. She is very special to me and I just wish I could be with her every day.
Then I just had another thought about all the crap the other day. Still cant understand what was so important to contact me on my damn blog. I know who it was, was my ex new boyfriend!!! and my damn ex couldnt even tell him to stop. What do they have to do with my life now, nothing and they have never had anything to do with it. So just some simple advice, get over it that Ive ever existed and please try to live your own lifes and let me live mine.
So with those words Im going to leave things behind me. My new girlfriend knows about the drama on my blog so I dont have anything to hide, she knows what has happened.
May the light follow you all.
//F
Sun
Just got back home from some time in the sun with some friends. Was nice to sit there and get a tan and talk some crap witht them. Time to take a shower and eat something. Im so hungry.
My beautiful girl has called and I wasnt home, sad. I miss her when she is away, and I hope to see her soon again. This is what is worth my time.
Ill write some more when I get out of the shower and have had something to eat.
Had my lunch, took some nice pic of my self and sent it to my girl. Yeah hope she likes it. I also went out on a 8km inline ride and it was really nice and warm out. So couldnt ask for anything better.
Everything is just wonderful today. Only thing missing is her waiting for me at home with a smile, a big hug and a soft kiss :D
// F
My beautiful girl has called and I wasnt home, sad. I miss her when she is away, and I hope to see her soon again. This is what is worth my time.
Ill write some more when I get out of the shower and have had something to eat.
Had my lunch, took some nice pic of my self and sent it to my girl. Yeah hope she likes it. I also went out on a 8km inline ride and it was really nice and warm out. So couldnt ask for anything better.
Everything is just wonderful today. Only thing missing is her waiting for me at home with a smile, a big hug and a soft kiss :D
// F
Hey
Angel, hey beautiful, hi my gorgeous one. I wont let you down, I made my self that promise and you know to who, that means something.
May the light be with you...
Tired and happy
Im tired of all pathetic people that hide behind their anonymity. Im tired of people that cant answer for them selfs and hide behind others. Something Ive experienced the last few days. Its sad, really sad to be honest. Sometimes I think people live in their own lies in such a way that they belive them, and its so damn obvious too. When someone youve known just seem to find it amusing to arse around, actaully I dont care, and I shouldnt give them my time either. Why? Because its not worth it. I have other more important things to think about then let some foolish, childish play consume my time. Enough of this and on to better things.
Im happy, very happy. Im actually glad that I left my old life, or that my old life left me, so to speak. Im glad that Ive found this new way and all the expectations that comes with it. Im looking for jobs in Gothenburg now, and actually an ex girlfriend of mine could help me with one. Lets see how it works out.
Im happy because Ive met the most wonderful girl there is, that cares. We are both acting like teenagers and its a lot of laughs. It might be that people that see us might think we are a bit crazy, but we are. I just wanna scream out "YES YES WE ARE IN LOVE OKI", giving eachother kisses and hugs everywhere. Its nice to feel that, its nice to feel that you are proud to be this persons someone, and you dont have to hide it. And we are sertainly not hiding it. It even feels special to stand outside her work and wait for her. To say "ohhh honey hope youve had a great day at work" and just give her a kiss and a big warm hug. Its nice to feel equal too, not to be the one that has to act more adult than the other. We are both happy to finally found eachother for real.
Well thats it, me and my night bloging. Hope you have found the time to read all about it.
Last few words. Stay true to who you are, when you lie to others you start to lie to yourself.
Let the light guide you all.
// F
Im happy, very happy. Im actually glad that I left my old life, or that my old life left me, so to speak. Im glad that Ive found this new way and all the expectations that comes with it. Im looking for jobs in Gothenburg now, and actually an ex girlfriend of mine could help me with one. Lets see how it works out.
Im happy because Ive met the most wonderful girl there is, that cares. We are both acting like teenagers and its a lot of laughs. It might be that people that see us might think we are a bit crazy, but we are. I just wanna scream out "YES YES WE ARE IN LOVE OKI", giving eachother kisses and hugs everywhere. Its nice to feel that, its nice to feel that you are proud to be this persons someone, and you dont have to hide it. And we are sertainly not hiding it. It even feels special to stand outside her work and wait for her. To say "ohhh honey hope youve had a great day at work" and just give her a kiss and a big warm hug. Its nice to feel equal too, not to be the one that has to act more adult than the other. We are both happy to finally found eachother for real.
Well thats it, me and my night bloging. Hope you have found the time to read all about it.
Last few words. Stay true to who you are, when you lie to others you start to lie to yourself.
Let the light guide you all.
// F
Gothenburg
Today Im on my way to Gothenburg, again. And Im going put my flat on "blocket" to see if there is someone that wants to trade it. You can do that and end up with a nice contract on a flat in a new city. Its going to be awsome to get out of this town really, but Im going to miss a lot of people. Didnt think I would. Im meating up with her also, and it feels so wonderful and Im happy and cant wait untill tonight when Ill pick her up from work.
I see everything like an adventure, but a good one with me as the lead charracter. Im the center of the story, and not the things that surrounds me. Its me and her hand in hand, yes its a bit cheesy, but I cant help it. Its nice to feel like you mean something for real, and that you cant be replaced by some summer fling. She feels the same thing. Im happy that I was singel, yes Im not anymore. Like I said the other day, sometimes faith smiles at you in a good way. I couldnt ask for more when it comes to this person.
I had a long talk last night with one of my best friends, she isnt feeling well and stuff from the past is troubling her. Im going to be there for her in the same way she was there for me when I had a down. Dont ever think that you are alone, yet not loved, because you are. You have become one of the most important persons in my life, and even though there is a lot of distance between us, since you dont live in sweden, I hope that we never loose contact or stop talking to eachother. You are one of those soulmates in life.
Time for breakfast and some reading, since Ive actually took my behind to the library and got me some books.
// F
I see everything like an adventure, but a good one with me as the lead charracter. Im the center of the story, and not the things that surrounds me. Its me and her hand in hand, yes its a bit cheesy, but I cant help it. Its nice to feel like you mean something for real, and that you cant be replaced by some summer fling. She feels the same thing. Im happy that I was singel, yes Im not anymore. Like I said the other day, sometimes faith smiles at you in a good way. I couldnt ask for more when it comes to this person.
I had a long talk last night with one of my best friends, she isnt feeling well and stuff from the past is troubling her. Im going to be there for her in the same way she was there for me when I had a down. Dont ever think that you are alone, yet not loved, because you are. You have become one of the most important persons in my life, and even though there is a lot of distance between us, since you dont live in sweden, I hope that we never loose contact or stop talking to eachother. You are one of those soulmates in life.
Time for breakfast and some reading, since Ive actually took my behind to the library and got me some books.
// F
I laugh
This comment was posted on my blog, and I just have to break it down for you, and make everyone read it.
Its in swedish so I will translate it. Here it comes:
" Så löjligt, Du leker som ett litet skadat rådjur som alla sårat patetiskt väx upp!Du snackar bara massa skit om allt och alla och leker någon jävla martyr"
"How pathetic. You are playing around like a deer that everyone have hurt. Pathetic grow up! You just talk shit a about everything and everyone and you are playing some kind of fucking martyr"
A comment like that deserves a laugh, and Ill even give you a hug. When you choose to be anonymous and you cant stand for your own oppinion by being honest about who you are. Sad, but its not mandatory to read my blog, my thoughts and what I think about sertain things. But it mustve touched you in some way, to read what I think. To mention, is that some of the things I wrote in my old blog doesnt belong here and they dont deserv my attention, and I havent mentioned anyone in my new blog by name if its not in a good way. But you seem to know who I am in real life, thats obvious.
You are free to express what ever feeling you have in my blog, I dont mind. When I read that, it must be sad, and pretty obvious, that you dont seem happy with your life. Im happy with mine and feel great. I hope that you find something that will make you happy, because that anger you have inside of you must feel like such a burden since you take your time to write something like that in my blog.
Well the ones that have read all this. In some way its fun to know that you still make an impact in someones life, since its difficult to comrpehend that they have take their time to write something like that. But it amuses me to the point I have to laugh. I know whats important in life and what is not. It seems like you dont really have understood whats important in yours, so I suggest you find that out.
// F
Its in swedish so I will translate it. Here it comes:
" Så löjligt, Du leker som ett litet skadat rådjur som alla sårat patetiskt väx upp!Du snackar bara massa skit om allt och alla och leker någon jävla martyr"
"How pathetic. You are playing around like a deer that everyone have hurt. Pathetic grow up! You just talk shit a about everything and everyone and you are playing some kind of fucking martyr"
A comment like that deserves a laugh, and Ill even give you a hug. When you choose to be anonymous and you cant stand for your own oppinion by being honest about who you are. Sad, but its not mandatory to read my blog, my thoughts and what I think about sertain things. But it mustve touched you in some way, to read what I think. To mention, is that some of the things I wrote in my old blog doesnt belong here and they dont deserv my attention, and I havent mentioned anyone in my new blog by name if its not in a good way. But you seem to know who I am in real life, thats obvious.
You are free to express what ever feeling you have in my blog, I dont mind. When I read that, it must be sad, and pretty obvious, that you dont seem happy with your life. Im happy with mine and feel great. I hope that you find something that will make you happy, because that anger you have inside of you must feel like such a burden since you take your time to write something like that in my blog.
Well the ones that have read all this. In some way its fun to know that you still make an impact in someones life, since its difficult to comrpehend that they have take their time to write something like that. But it amuses me to the point I have to laugh. I know whats important in life and what is not. It seems like you dont really have understood whats important in yours, so I suggest you find that out.
// F
Hey lady faith...
...it looks like you are smiling at me. Im glad you are. Please let it be true. Im not up for any more mindgames or things that wont work out. Let it be my turn to have some success in life. It has not been an easy ride so far, and you know that. But hey Ive learned my lesson, and know that its important to stay true to yourself. Im finnished with all the old things, my old ways. I have to be the one I want others to be, or I will end up at the nearest curb.
So here I sit at night, well its the time of day I prefer to write, when my little brains tells me "hey why dont you say a few words and speak to the world", not that its that many that reads this blog. But thats actually not the important thing. The thing is I just love to write down how and what I feel. I know that I have my ups and downs and when I read what I have written before, I must look a bit mad. But I am. I think that to survive this society you have to be. We have to sort out whats important and what isnt, or most of us will dig our own little grave.
Well that was my thoughts for tonight. And well Ill wake up tomorrow and have a new day with new things that constantly circles around in my complicated mind.
// F p.s Ill never forget about the friends that are important to me d.s
So here I sit at night, well its the time of day I prefer to write, when my little brains tells me "hey why dont you say a few words and speak to the world", not that its that many that reads this blog. But thats actually not the important thing. The thing is I just love to write down how and what I feel. I know that I have my ups and downs and when I read what I have written before, I must look a bit mad. But I am. I think that to survive this society you have to be. We have to sort out whats important and what isnt, or most of us will dig our own little grave.
Well that was my thoughts for tonight. And well Ill wake up tomorrow and have a new day with new things that constantly circles around in my complicated mind.
// F p.s Ill never forget about the friends that are important to me d.s
Into the night...
... you cary me with your voice and the way you talk to me. I couldnt feel any better and youve made it clear how much you care about me. Let us keep this feeling and make things happen.
Morning thoughts
I lay in my bed to rest. I see my future pass when I close my eyes. I see my self walking in the morning sun. My head down watching my feet walk on the designated path. I wish I could be on my way to be then one im supposed to be. I cant look up because Im affraid. I just need to be, need to feel, need to see. I can hurt, laugh, cry, feel every little muscle in my body that wants to take those steps that I just cant take. Life is wonderful, complicated, and yet so simple. Still you wonder why It cant be just that, an easy journey into the future. Just let me, let me take that chance, hold me, take me and feel my soul that just wants to be happy...
// F
// F
Im scared...
... to death for the first time in my life when it comes to a girl. Im so scared because all of the bad things that have happened before in my life. Scared to hurt this girl and to get hurt my self. Its difficult when all these intence feelings shows up again and you dont know if its for real this time or just another tale that will be forgotten.
Im scared because she has ment so much to me before and still does. Im acting like a 15 year old boy when I talk to her, cant help it. But when that boy goes away there I stand with both feet in the grown up world with all my thoughts. Im so finnished with having relationships that wont go anywhere. To put your heart out there time after time and still end up in tears. Well yes I know that every relationship needs work, but sometimes you just want it to be perfect, or close to it. I just want to be that one, the one that you treat with respect allways to be loved and just work for it for life. I just cant take more of those lost cases of tries. I want this, if we decide to be a couple. I want it to be for real no looking back and think about all the old stuff, just look forward and see what we have ahead of us. This scares me so much because I cant read into the futuer, I cant see whats going to happen or if this is going to be something solid. I hope it will be when we decide what to do. It feels that way, but I dont want to get my hopes up.
Me being scared can result in me turning off my feelings and stop showing how much I care and just be the one to ruin it all. I want to be strong this time and fight, fight not to shut them off and keep it up, say everything I think, thoughts, be a good boyfriend, be a good lover and specialy a good listener and to allways be there and to care. Im done shutting things off. Gah Im frustrated because its hard to put words on things you really feel. A little chaos with some strange order. Ha ha.
Well I care about you a lot and the last thing I want to do is to let you down, yet again. Im here this time for real. Hope we can make it special and make it into the history books.
// F
No other love
"No other love
No other touch
Gimme gimme oh so much
Turn me on, turn me on
Won’t you please get out of my head Get back into my bed now, come kiss me, come with me Cause’ I can’t hardly sleep without you, can’t stop thinking bout you girl I want you, I need you
And I’m ready for love, I’m ready for us to lose control Oh you know and I know that
No other love No other touch Gimme gimme oh so much Turn me on, turn me on No other kiss No one like this Feeling that I can’t resist Turn me on, turn me on, turn me on
I had my share of lovers But there is no other girl, your special, now let’s go Cause love I want you more than ever, want to do whatever now To keep you, I need you
And I’m ready for love, I\'m ready for us to lose control Oh you know and I know that
No other love No other touch Gimme gimme oh so much Turn me on, turn me on No other kiss No one like this Feeling that I can’t resist Turn me on, turn me on, turn me on
I say your turning me on now, say your turning me oh-oh-oh-on Say your turning me on with your smile, to your lips, to the words of this song ah know I used to say I was too young, now I’m grown up But I put you where you need that strong, real goodie good loving Stevie wonder said it’s been so long And Imma a give it if you need it are you ready to receive it Boy I-I-I-I-I (wanna give you some love), I wanna give you some love and affection, you got my attention
See I’m ready for love, I’m ready for us to loose control Oh you know, and I know that
No other love No other touch Gimme gimme oh so much Turn me on, turn me on No other kiss No one like this Feeling that I can’t resist Turn me on, turn me on, turn me on"
Hey dont make me blush... But I like it.
Won’t you please get out of my head Get back into my bed now, come kiss me, come with me Cause’ I can’t hardly sleep without you, can’t stop thinking bout you girl I want you, I need you
And I’m ready for love, I’m ready for us to lose control Oh you know and I know that
No other love No other touch Gimme gimme oh so much Turn me on, turn me on No other kiss No one like this Feeling that I can’t resist Turn me on, turn me on, turn me on
I had my share of lovers But there is no other girl, your special, now let’s go Cause love I want you more than ever, want to do whatever now To keep you, I need you
And I’m ready for love, I\'m ready for us to lose control Oh you know and I know that
No other love No other touch Gimme gimme oh so much Turn me on, turn me on No other kiss No one like this Feeling that I can’t resist Turn me on, turn me on, turn me on
I say your turning me on now, say your turning me oh-oh-oh-on Say your turning me on with your smile, to your lips, to the words of this song ah know I used to say I was too young, now I’m grown up But I put you where you need that strong, real goodie good loving Stevie wonder said it’s been so long And Imma a give it if you need it are you ready to receive it Boy I-I-I-I-I (wanna give you some love), I wanna give you some love and affection, you got my attention
See I’m ready for love, I’m ready for us to loose control Oh you know, and I know that
No other love No other touch Gimme gimme oh so much Turn me on, turn me on No other kiss No one like this Feeling that I can’t resist Turn me on, turn me on, turn me on"
Hey dont make me blush... But I like it.
